The Fear of Being Witnessed Stemming From A Fear of Witnessing Ourselves
For the Worldbuilders Ep. 072
Dear Worldbuilder,
Will you give yourself permission to bear witness to the ever changing landscape of your inner world?
What will you find there? Can you meet it with compassion?
Will you share it with us and allow us to meet you with compassion too?
How might this witness work expand our collective capacity for vulnerability and intimacy?
My intention inside this episode is to reflect, alongside you, on my own journey toward softening inside the sacred practice of bearing witness — both to myself and our collective homecoming. Honestly bearing witness to myself was painful at first. I was confronted with all the ways I had invented masks sacrificing my comfort while prioritizing the comfort of others, who oftentimes were loved ones. Parents, friends, partners, co-workers, peers, teachers, family members, roommates, the list goes on. When confronting all the layers I had assembled out of survival, I realized I was unrecognizable to myself. I cycled through periods of shame, rage, grief, and ultimately grounded inside compassion. When I stopped running from my authentic self, I was able to face her and in that stillness become a compassionate witness. No longer afraid of my own darkness, power, longings and desires — terrified that they were threats to my survival — another way forward opened. Inside this compassionate witnessing I realized all my fears held keys to something beyond survival, something like belonging. Through this witness work I began to create safety inside myself. Through this witness work I began to collaborate with loved ones instead of hide from them, in turn, we created safety in our home. Then it spilled over to our neighbors, the streets, the schools, the workplace. But it all started with bearing witness inside the sacred act of coming home to myself again and again. My intention inside this episode is to remind us, worldbuilding happens on various scales of intimacy.
Some Threads we pulled inside today’s episode:
“Fear is the beginning of the story. Keep going if you’re curious about the end.” — Ayana Zaire Cotton
“The word “practice” is supposed to release the perfectionism, not invite it.” — Ayana Zaire Cotton
“We are creating safety inside ourselves. We are creating safety inside our homes. We are creating safety on the streets.
Worldbuilding happens on various scales of intimacy.”
— Ayana Zaire Cotton
Tune into the 72nd episode “The Fear of Being Witnessed Stemming From A Fear of Witnessing Ourselves” on the podcast For the Worldbuilders via Spotify or Apple Podcast. Let me know what you think by replying to this email. 💌
So be it, see to it, breathe through it,
Ayana
O.O I am hooked, I am here, I am committed