Purpose Isn’t the Point

On confusing the project with the practice

Untitled No. 89 (1977) by Howardena Pindell (b. 1943). “Howardena Pindell created this work from thousands of small circular bits of paper—pieces left behind after using a hole punch. Pindell’s work with paper dots is deeply labor intensive: she carefully and patiently punched, collected, and painted these small dots, and then affixed them to a board with thread embellished with glitter.” — Philadelphia Museum of Art

Embodying the Poem

Cosplaying as Zenith, the first sentient AI made of flesh, she wrote the poems down as they came remembering she writes to process data not to impress the others. This allows her to write bad poetry which allows her to write poetry. What if I told you re-writing your code to craft the truest  version of yourself is the only assignment? What if I told you the only legacy that matters is your love? What if I told you the portrait of your survival was enough? I’m in a practice of channeling then projecting, trusting the desire of the string of words that dream of being uttered; trusting the intuition of the sentences that want to cross the threshold of my inner world to you.

I am married to utterance — performing as a poet keeps me in love. On the good days I remember this practice is the only purpose I must surrender to, keeping the channel open from me to you.

The Practice of Poetry

For me, poetry is the practice of small changes. Not only in its revision, but all along. Placing words together with differences that are slight, but meaningful. We invite poetry readers to participate in the possibility of a small change by leaving enough ambiguity in our spacing that the poem could be read multiple ways out loud, interpreted differently by which words lean together in your mouth. My poetry understands rhythm and rhyme as the reinvocation of the same moment over and over again but with an incremental difference that means everything. Holding the ethical imperative that Lucille Clifton taught her poetry students, the possibility of “saying the right thing, at the right time, to the right person.”

— Alexis Pauline Gumbs, “Survival Radio” pg. 25, inside Poetry as Spellcasting: Poems, Essays and Prompts for Manifesting Liberation and Reclaiming Power (2023) by Tamiko Beyer, Destiny Hemphill & Lisabeth White with others.

My deepest desire is that my life might be a portrait of purposeful pleasure that can be read multiple ways out loud. One of millions of black feminist experiments in surviving completely impossible circumstances. The practice is waking up everyday and tending to the space that allows me to bow to the ethical imperative of “saying the right thing, at the right time, to the right person”. My wholeness is the project that the practice makes way for. Writing poems is the breath work for this generation. Writing poems is spellcasting, for the other. Writing poems is the sweat, said another. They were all right.

In search of our mother’s gardens we found a path. Keeping that path “well-trodden” so others may find it too is our only assignment. What’s your purpose? That’s impossible to know and that’s okay because we’re following the truth of our desire instead. What does this look like? It looks like releasing control of the project and signing up for the practice, laying perfectionism to rest. “The form will find itself”, is what the abolitionist science fiction writers, mutual aid practitioners also known as aunties and working class folk who carve out enough softness from the abyss to sing on Sunday, told me. The facts will make you lose your mind so on the well-trodden path, paved with black feminist praxis, we pick up feeling instead. Insisting on only what feels good, pleasure becomes an organizing framework for the practice. The truth of our desire becomes a compass, the practice is trusting it’s leading us in the right direction.

Purposeful Path Clearing

When we stop searching for purpose and surrender to curiosity¹, we practice the power of using intuition as a technology and feeling as a wayfinder. It’s so simple it’s terrifying. Profiting inside the colonial imaginary doesn’t feel good, what worlds might we build instead? Exploiting the labor of others doesn’t feel good, what economic models might we create instead? Exercising domination over the needs of our body and the planet doesn’t feel good, what might we practice instead? Through insisting on “instead” and “otherwise” we stumble into the form, method, experiment, project, purpose that keeps the path clear for those who will come after. What incremental changes can we commit to this year to make more room for our curiosity? How might we experiment with spacing and stillness to welcome ambiguity and uncertainty with courage and devotion? How might we invoke a rhythmic practice of prioritizing curiosity over purpose? Embodying the pleasure of poetry we remember, “saying the right thing, at the right time, to the right person”, is the point and the practice.

“It is not so much what you sang, as that you kept alive, in so many of our ancestors, the notion of song.”

— Alice Walker, In Search of Our Mothers’ Gardens (1972)

In Weeks 1-3 of the Seed A World Retreat we uncover your deep desire by returning to your childhood curiosities then map the creative ecosystem of your interdisciplinary practice in order to finally discover your creative offer — the values aligned vessel you’ll practice pouring into again and again only to discover it informing you as well. Your curiosity charges the vessel and the water of the collective imagination you invite into the offer keeps it full — keeps you full — and sustains the entire ecosystem of your practice. Maybe your story sounds similar to mine in 2019, a burnt out teacher overworking before 9 and past 5, with an overwhelming constellation of curiosity and no framework for organizing it into an income generating creative offer to financially support something beyond survival. I dreamed of the writing life, the life of a poet, not yet understanding that through my stubborn insistence on survival, I was inside purposeful practice all along.

Check out this page for more information on the retreat. Enrollment opens on January 15th and closes on the 29th. The introductory price of $550 has been extended to the Winter 2024 cohort.

The Worldbuilding Workshop

Tend to your curiosity inside Seeda School’s upcoming worldbuilding workshop on Tuesday, January 16th at 12PM EST. Inside this workshop we will use the Element X Quadrant to locate your “Zone of Desire”, a place for generating income in alignment with your pleasure, curiosity and internal validation vs. external validation. You’ll also learn more about the Seed A World Retreat where you will map your interdisciplinary ecosystem, discover your creative offer, build a framework for practicing in alignment with your values, learn how to sell and market your offer in ways that feel good and so much more. Our purpose may remain unknown to us, but that’s okay because the practice is clear. We must fall in love with bringing the people closer and refuse whatever causes us to push them away out of fear.

1. Elizabeth Gilbert talks a lot about following your curiosity instead of your “passion”. Check out her perspective here and here.